Date & Time #2

As I attend my service learning site, the relationships and connections I build with each student grows tremendously. The way the students willingly open up about their home life to a complete stranger shows how much they need a stable support system in their life. Hearing some of their stories is completely devastating, but to also see some of them go through the day as if nothing wrong is absolutely astonishing. The way these students struggle in their academics is heart breaking to watch, and I always wish to understand what is truly going through their minds. 

Phil Kaye’s last section of Date and Time, titled “Middle”, goes in depth to some of Kaye’s feelings regarding his parents. One poem in this section, “The New Apartment”, provides a glimpse into Kaye’s thoughts and feelings during his parents’ divorce. As Kaye and his sister are helping their father move into his new apartment, Kaye describes how he knew the divorce was coming, “my parents’ break happened over just one night / though my sister and I had heard creaking for years / so loud it kept us up some nights” (98). An argument can take a tremendous toll on a child, especially when it evolves members of their family. 

The way Kaye’s family dynamics affected his every day life, even his academics, is unknown to the readers. However, other sections of the book have indicated that Kaye did suffer from depression, even thinking about suicide. He also reflects about the impact of his parents through his previous statement, “Repetition” where he states, “my mother taught me / this trick / if you repeat something over / & over / again/ it loses it meaning” (32) … “I imagined it as an accident / that when they whispered to each other / I love you / so many times over / they forgot what it meant” (33). Kaye’s interpretation of the meaning of words mean directly connects to his parents’ relationship. Them consistently saying “I love you”, but one day not loving one another anymore shows him that the more you say something, the more meaning it loses. The mindset that Kaye developed due because of his parents affected his relationships for the rest of his life. 

There can be a strong connection drawn between both the book, Date and Time, and my experiences at service learning. Many students at service learning are going through similar, if not identical, situations in their home life. As a volunteer, I can only imagine how these experiences have shaped the students into who they are today. As we learned though reading Kaye’s book, many who are struggling with their mental health struggle internally. Therefore, nobody truly knows a persons thoughts and feelings except for the individual themselves. Further emphasizing how certain thoughts regarding a specific experience can affect how a student feels in their everyday life, especially in the classroom