Blog #3

            For this analysis/blog post, I will be discussing the poem Chameleon by Kiran Waqar and Hawa Adam and my newfound experiences at my job during this current epidemic we are currently living through. With this new Corona Virus disease begging to take the streets of America, it has caused what some would say an unpleasant turn in society. People are stockpiling goods like there is no tomorrow, toilet paper, food, and especially alcohol. This panic has caused business to be almost as high as it would be during the Christmas and New Year’s, but the reason for their alcohol purchases now differ greatly. People walk to the store most of them now wearing masks, gloves and other basic protective gear to fulfill their drinking needs. On the other hand, there are people who buy like they won’t leave their homes for months, walking into the store with a. full makeshift hazmat suit comprised of garbage bags and tape, not the typical look you would expect from any straight-thinking person. My first reaction when seeing people like this is that all of this won’t help you fight what you are trying, it is only making you look like a fool. In the poem the two authors right about how Chameleons have to adapt to their situations and soundings and to do that they change their appearance in order to survive. These people who come to shop dressed like literal garbage are in their minds changing their appearance to survive, but their over-exaggerated protection is in my estimation completely useless compared to that of the chameleon. In a few stanzas down the authors discuss how the how though chameleons have this protective layer, they know “It cannot hide us, It cannot keep us safe”. Even the chameleons know that simply having this protective layering over them will not save them, unlike those who wonder shipping covered from head to toe in plastic bag. Practicing safe and healthy procedures is the best way to combat the enemies we are currently battling with in this world, not useless overprotection. In the next few stanzas they write, “So we develop thick skin so no one can ever see us, So no one can ever know us, Including ourselves”. The useless over protection some people enter with makes them look like they aren’t even a person, you don’t have any idea who they are when they enter only from the sound of their voice would you maybe be able to recognize them. I feel that when these type of people look in the mirror with their getup they themselves don’t even know who they are; they see what this panic has caused them to do and realize that they are so far from what they should be doing that they can’t even see themselves as a normal person in the mirror, that and maybe the fact that they are covered in garbage bags.

iExamen 2

                   In my culture, kindness is not always reflected from the parents to the children; African American and especially African parents raise their children way harsher than how other families may raise their children. I was not exposed to the power of kindness apart from behaving well in school so that I did not have to face severe consequences at home for unruly behavior. This verbal exercise is far different than how I am used to communicating with my family because non-sarcastic and kinder diction is a taboo communication concept in my family.

                    

                  This morning my older sister yelled at me for eating the last pack of gushers. In response, I apologized for doing so (I would NEVER do this) and told her if I had money I would get some more (which is kind of true and not completely a lie). She responded to me by calling me an idiot and if I were not doing the examen I would have said something in rude in return but I did not ( I will tomorrow though!). 

                     

                   I am usually much nicer with my younger sister so I just conducted conversation with her as I normally would while I assisted with her homework packet. I am the same with my mother as well but not so much with my dad because he gets on my last nerve, so I ignored him today. This exercise helped me consider my comments and feelings more towards my family members. It also caused me to reflect on the two sudden deaths of my uncle and aunt and that I should be kinder with my words towards my family because (God forbid) anything can happen and I do not want my last words to be hurtful nor false. 

                   With the virus pandemic lurking about in the states, we are forcing ourselves to come to a closure about what we purchase, what we will eat, how our future will pan out and so many other worries the we forget to appreciate who we have around us; and those with roofs over their heads and food in their house forget that they are far more privileged than those without. The pandemic has caused us to not consider the words nor actions that we use to treat others hence the reason why xenophobia and racism has erupted within our society. Thankfully, people have realized that we overreact to the smallest issues as a result of fear and quelled the confusion with kindness and compassion.

                     Kindness, usefulness, and truth are the remedies for fear and aggression. My older sister often refers to me as "the golden child" because I do not like to quarrel with my parents but I instead use kindness to respond to my parent's constant demands or confusion. It is not easy to be patient with my parents nor my siblings, especially when they are in a bad mood and I try my best not to be an addition to their anger. I feel like a lot of social issues that exist in our society today are fueled by fear and confusion and people just not considering how their words may or may not solve whatever issue they have. Especially on political terms, a lot of arguments erupt from the simplest misconduct of speech. We all need to reconsider our words everyday to quell confusion.

                     

                   

iExamen 2

Jaime Hynes

iExamen 2

Throughout the course of the day on March 17, 2020, also known as Saint Patrick’s Day, I tried to make sure that the messages I communicated were kind, useful, and true. At first, this seemed like a pretty simple task. When reflecting on how I communicate, I felt that the messages I speak or send are usually pretty kind, useful, and truthful. However, after spending six days in quarantine with my family, my words were not always super kind or useful. Considering I have two younger siblings, boy and girl, my patience was constantly being challenged resulting in maybe some not so kind messages being shared.

But on this day, I paid very close attention to the words I used and the messages I shared not only with my family but also with my friends over social media and text messaging. Since the coronavirus has been, of course, a very large discussion between everyone in the world, I tried to make sure every text I sent could be useful to my friends who were struggling in quarantine like I have been. I did this by sending new updates about the virus in our county and in our country but also fact-checking them before pressing send, to ensure my message was truthful. Along with true and factual information, I tried my best to share positivity to my friends who have been very upset with the news of not being able to return to school, vacations being canceled and overall becoming lonely due to social distancing. I did this by reminding them that when this pandemic begins to fade, life will return back to not only be back to normal, but we will be able to appreciate it even more than we did prior to the COVID-19 outbreak. Things like traveling to see family and friends or sitting in your favorite restaurant for a meal will mean so much more.

This day, March 17^th, I also found out some extremely saddening news that greatly affected my day and how I communicated with those around me and my friends through social media. I found out that the day before Nick Myers, a boy in my class at Loyola, passed away. I had the pleasure of spending time with Nick a few times and from what I can remember, he was such a caring person with a lot of positive energy and the best smile. Although, my concern this day was not with my own grieving. I have a few friends who were very close to Nick, and this sudden loss was taking a huge toll on them. Specifically, my one very close friend and Nick hung out almost every day of the first semester and she has gone through other tragic deaths like this in her life. Because of this, reaching out to her and expressing my love for her was my main priority. I wanted her to know that she was in my thoughts and prayers and that I would always be there for her to talk to, even though I knew she was strong enough to get through it herself. This communication, while also useful, was my way of expressing a kind message to a friend in a time of need.

Throughout this day, I chose my words thoughtfully when interacting with my family. With the previously mentioned event in mind, I was feeling especially grateful for each person in my life and wanted to express that. I chose to be extra kind to my siblings and parents because life is short. Going forward with this crazy new life we are all living in, filled with hand sanitizer and keeping six feet apart from everyone we see, I think it is important that we stay positive and help each other through it. This iExamen helped me to realize that the words we use and the messages we communicate play a big role in this positivity and helpfulness and I hope to try and implement what I learned in my communicating going forward.  

iExamen 2

            Practicing self-reflection while home from college due to the coronavirus sparking a worldwide crisis is incredibly fitting. As my family and I quarantine ourselves and disconnect from the social world, observing my attitudes and actions has the potential to be most effective.  I think that by the end of the time I am quarantined with my family, I will have spent the most quality time with them than ever before. It is a good idea to challenge myself to live, at least for a day, with the mindset of only saying things that are kind, useful, and true. When I went into this day and observation, I had hoped to improve the time spent with my family members and to avoid any potential conflicts. It is a difficult adjustment coming home from school, unexpectedly, and living with family again, especially when we cannot leave the house. I started the day by going downstairs to make myself breakfast. I was trying to think of how I could apply to be kinder into my life, in any way, no matter how simple or extreme. I decided to make breakfast for my family and their response was well worth it. It took barely any extra effort or time to do something that would make others happy and that was a great feeling. I think it was especially important that I did something that would make my family happy as this is such a stressful and uncertain time. It made me want to continue to do something every day to make them happy and help to relieve the stress of everything going on.

 Throughout the rest of the day, I worked to make sure that anything I say or act upon is useful and positive intent. In order to accomplish this, I needed to make sure that I thought before I said anything and did not let my emotions get in the way. For example, I was initially disappointed with the fact that I could not see my friends from home and that I was losing the second semester of my freshman year at college. However, after more careful and thoughtful reflection, I realized how lucky I truly am. So many people are going through a much more difficult time than me right now. The only thing that I have control of in this situation is staying in my house and keeping those struggling in my thoughts. It would be useless and selfish to complain about something that does not impact me to the full extent as it does others.

This self-observation reminded me to reconnect with myself and who I truly want to be. I want to be kind and I want to make others feel good. Unfortunately, sometimes emotions get in the way of that goal. After completing this iExamen, I am going to consistently work on being more mindful of my actions and thoughts.

iExamen 2

IExamen 2

For this IExamen, I was told to caution my day using kind, useful, and true words. Although this was challenging considering my generation uses a lot of sarcasm and words they don’t mean, I was certainly up to the challenge. As I went on with my day, I received very different responses that I usually get whether that was people not taking me serious or just ignoring my comment completely. For which I come to understand that I joke around with my friends a lot. As for my family members they tended to smile more often with acceptance of my positivity which shifted my mood to a rather sincere, heartwarming feel. These emotions sometimes feel distant at times because of priorities set forth to ignore the simplistic pleasures of the world. Instead we tend to use ignorance and dishonesty to travel through our lives, but sometimes it’s the kindness out of our hearts that helps us do best. The best response I got was from my mom, when I said something relatively funny and all she had for me was a giggle and a simple “I love you Najee”. From getting through with this task, I felt as if by communicating this way, I gained a sort of acceptance from my peers or possibly them looking at me a different way than before. Its always a what if possibility that shows another side of someone for which positivity should be at the forefront of everyone’s conscious and comments. 

Before taking part of this project, I thought it would be silly to act out of character than I usually do, but since the task was to add positivity in my life turned out to be a good challenge. There are some people that would think it would be easy to do it, but for me staying true, kind, and useful can often go awry when talking to your friends and siblings. The change was much needed to see the response of my people around me. I didn’t think I would be able to do it for a full day, but with intentions and focus I was able to do so. My comments spoke outward to the point where people didn’t take my words serious initially, but with another listen they took note in my sincerety. Being useful and kind to people shouldn’t be hard, but the way I have come to live recently, I just haven’t really payed a lot of attention to detail. I have helped people in the passed like with homework among other things, and kindness just comes out of your heart which I have been raised to do. Before taking on this project, I just don’t quite recall always doing such with no negative vibes in my life. Finally, while doing this project, I had to pay attention to detail and try not to laugh while that would make it seem sarcastic or not genuine. Overall, that was the main thing I had to deal with and learn from every encounter where being genuine was hard to stay true to, but has taught me now that by telling the truth and being kind, there is a will and a way to keep positivity in your life to make sure everyone around you is happy and has a smile on their face.

iExamen 2

Joseph Kamish

Dr. Ellis

En-101-07

17 March 2020

iExamen 2

            After reading the directions for the second iExamen, I though quite a bit about how it so closely resembled the purpose of the first.  Both are strongly centered around self-observation and reflection.  The more I thought about these activities, the more I saw how helpful they could be.  Practicing different types of social interaction and personal behavior can help you find a thought process that really suits you in all situations.  The first iExamen focused purely on self-reflection, while the second iExamen hopes to build off what you learned previously and put it into practice by addressing people with purely kind, useful, and true responses.  Before starting this activity my first thought was that there was no possible way that I could tell everyone something that is true, and kind, in every situation.

            This exercise was very interesting to me because of how I speak to friends and family on a regular basis.  Normally when I’m around my friends, we freely criticize and make fun of each other, as it’s just part of our casual interactions.  So usually, when I’d find myself calling my brother or friend stupid or an idiot (but not actually meaning it), I had to quickly stop myself and just say nothing at all.  The reason I said nothing was because whenever I throw around insults like that, it’s honestly for no purpose at all rather than just to fill the conversations.  Nobody said anything to me but I’m positive that my friends were wondering why I was acting so weird.  This specific example was particularly funny internally to me, because I would constantly find myself in a situation where my brain couldn’t come up with anything in place of the insult to say, so I would just sit there quietly.  For the most part, communicating like these didn’t really help or hinder me in any way, besides the example that I previously gave.  I like to think that when I speak to people, I do my best to be conscious of their feelings and say something that might help them in some way.  Unfortunately, I don’t believe my friends cared enough to inquire about my random pauses in conversation (when I blocked an outgoing insult), so I never explained to my friends, or family, what I was working on that day.

            For the most part I worked extremely hard to follow the requested parameters of this exercise by speaking to people truthfully and kindly.  The only exception I can think of is when my friend, who had been sad lately, asked to hang out.  I really wasn’t in the mood to see him but telling him that would have just disappointed him more than he already was.  So, I ended up telling him that I was busy running errands with my Mom, which is always a golden excuse.  As well as some good laughs, this assignment helped me realize that your words to others can drastically change how they go about their days.  So when speaking with friends, family, or even strangers, don’t throw meaningless words their way in an effort to escape a social interaction.

iExamen 2

iExamen 2

                  

              Coming from a conservative American little island, the language we used was something important because it separated you from “uneducated” people vs “educate” people. My parents had made sure that I get three conditions in my communication kindness, usefully and the truth. If I look at my childhood, I can remember some slaps in the mouth and long punishments for saying some "white" lies or saying things that were not kind and even today at almost 20 years I still getting some small punishments and some serious faces. These conditions have become part of me and now there are no longer conditions, there are filters. Filters that I have been developed in a way that I can activate and deactivate them to improve my communication and change my behavior with different people. 

              On Saturday when I woke up in my home I was ready to analyze every word that left my mouth. Beside my days at the university where when I get up everyone still asleep and I have no one to talk to; at home, everyone was waiting for me in the kitchen ready to talk about their days. So, with a “Good morning!” I started this day. The conversations flowed non-stop. The themes changed both in subject and maturity. At one point we were talking about some documentaries that we had seen about Egypt and in the next second, we were talking about how sick my sister's doll was and how she had been cured by receiving the hair of a unicorn as medicine. The conversations remained as deep and as childish as you could imagine.

               Over the day I noticed that even if I used the filters in the same "way" I noticed some new filters as I spoke with my parents and my sisters. When I spoke to my sisters, filters were trying to simplify my thoughts, and blocking any word or sentence that can suggest that Santa Claus and unicorns not exist. While I was talking to my parents I was looking for more complex words and deleting every "misspelling words" because “misspelling words can’t be said under any circumstances”. For me was interesting, because I wasn’t conscious about how many filters I am able to use in a short period of time. They had become an automatic process. 

                Using and analyzing my filters before speaking wasn't really difficult or out of the norm for me. Actually, I enjoyed it, because being understood it’s something that although we do not give any value, now that I found myself in the situation of speaking a foreign language and not being understood as I wanted, it has taught me its importance. So talking in my native language and being able to be really understood without any type of misunderstood was as a weight took off my back and something that I learned to appreciated the most.

iExamen 2

            When saying what true and useful, it generally isn’t the kindest of things. The useful things that people want to hear aren’t kind since it is a critique about them or the fashion in which they operate, but the assessments made are almost always true.  When saying something kind about someone you may find yourself saying it for the sole purpose of being kind, not because you wanted to say something true or useful about that person. For instance, if your telling someone with a new BMW sports care that they have a nice car, you are stating something that is kind and true, but is it really useful? The owner of the vehicle is already aware he purchased a nice car, for he probably would not have made that expensive decision, it not useful to tell him that, it is simply a kind gesture. Before beginning this exercise I had doubts on whether or not I would be able to successfully adhere to the guidelines, I am a person who doesn’t like to say much unless I feel it is needed, and that generally means it is a useful bit of information I will interject, but whether or not it is kind remains a different story.

            This current pandemic surrounding the world has caused drastic changes to what we all presumed would be our spring semester and it changed my original plans for this assignment. When I am not at school, I generally spend most of my time at the liquor store where I work, and this is where I decided to practice the exercise for this assignment. When I first woke up in the morning my younger brother who I share a bedroom with was playing a video on his phone at a high volume; I normally would have said something along the lines of “Shut the F up your being loud”, but that would not have worked for this exercise. In my dreary and tired state, I could not think of anything to say that would meet the criteria of the kind, useful, and true nature; so, I just got up and began to get ready for my workday. My normal comment would have been useful and true, but it wouldn’t have been the kindest thing to say to someone the first thing in the morning when you wake up. Looking back saying something like “Can you please lower the volume its kind of loud and I’m trying to sleep” would have made sense, but not being a morning person and all, I couldn’t muster together that sentence at the time.

            At the store the relationship you have with a customer various, some come in to get their bottle and are out in minutes without little dialogue being exchanged, but some sty around and chat for a bit while they shop. My first interaction with a customer that day besides my standard phrase when they enter the store went as follows. The customer was someone who came buy almost every day, so she was someone who I consider having a good business to customer relationship with so I decided to engage in this exercise with her. When she first came to the counter with her item, I told her “Thank you for all of the business you have given us, and I appreciate you always being nice to me”. This is something I would have never said it if it wasn’t for this assignment, but I felt a slight feeling of goodness inside when saying it because it was something that was truly kind useful and true. This customer has known me for quite a while now and jokingly said: “Who put you up to say that”. She knew that was something that I normally would not have said to her or any customer for that matter on a normal day, but today was different. After I explained the reasoning behind my comments, she was very appreciative of what I had said and we both laughed it off and mutually agreed that doing an exercise like this every once and while would be something that could be of great benefit to all forms of communities. Saying things like this to someone every day would take away from its significance, hearing it out of the blue and catching you off guard puts you in a position to truly appreciate what had been said to you. Every day when a customer walks in I ask “Hi, how are you today” as a formality, me asking this almost every time takes away from its significance, asking every day takes away from the kindness of truly being curious about how someone’s day went, but rather only stands to initiate the business transaction that is to follow. Throughout my shift, I replicated this process with a various number customer who I shared a similar relationship, and each time I said generally the same thing as before and each time the person seemed to me, genuinely happy to hear it since it was something they hear often when going about their day. 

            Through practicing this exercise, I realized that it is pretty difficult to only say what is kind, useful, and true at all times. I found myself saying fewer things to customers and my family the day I practiced this exercise because in my experience saying things that meet all three criteria are not normally used in day to day conversation, but rather when truly wanting to show appreciation for something or someone. I similarly told my family how much I appreciate them using the criteria and they showed great admiration as well. My brother was skeptical however and asked about the true nature of my comment which I explained, and we again both agreed that saying things like that from time to time is greatly beneficial. Telling someone you appreciate them every day is incredibly redundant and taking away from its real significance, so I’m going to wait a while before I show my appreciation in this form again.

iExamen 2

IExamen 2

            Communicate with only what is kind, useful, and true, that was the assignment. I was very unsure about the outcome of this assignment. Would I communicate differently then usual? Would people notice a change in what I had to say? I looked at this as a challenge for myself, to see what could happen if I became more aware of what I said throughout my day. 

            On a normal day to day basis, I try and keep my words kind and make sure what I say is the truth only. However, during my self-evaluation I noticed how difficult this can be sometimes. As much as I try to keep what I say kind, useful, and true, some things that are said everyday don’t fall into any of those categories. Whether it’s picking on my brother or just communicating about what is happening in the world, not everything that is said is always in a positive manner. I would not say that this day of self-evaluation was extremely different then how I usually communicate, but I will say it made me more conscious of what I was saying. 

            It was quite an interesting experience to think about my words everyday — my brother found it funny when everything that was said was in a kinder manner then usual. I think it’s an excellent life lesson to think before you speak, and to think about the tone in which you speak. With that being said, I do believe that evaluating everything that I said to make sure it was kind, useful, and true can hinder the ability to communicate. By constantly second guessing what you say to make sure it fits in the categories, sometimes you lose the ability to communicate with your initial intentions. 

            This iExamen, I believe, was harder then the first one. This one took more thinking as to if what I was saying was appropriate, and I certainly had more self-realizations with this project as well. I was very unsure about the project going in, I didn’t know what I was going to learn coming out of it. The outcome of the project was more then I could have imagined, and I didn’t just realize my form of communication, but I had a realization as to how the world communicates with one another as well. Kind, useful, and true: it sounds very easy, but it’s much more difficult then one would expect. 

iExamen 2

For me, this assignment couldn’t have been given at a better time. For the last few weeks, I had made a plan to travel back home on Saturday to have a crucial conversation with a friend who would be on their spring break at the time. The conversation was not one I was looking forward to because over the past few weeks; I had received some concerning phone calls from my friend. These conversations told me that she was surrounding herself with not so supportive friends at her college, and I was concerned that they were begging to affect her mental health. 

             Walking into this conversation, I knew that it was vital that I thought before I spoke. I needed to voice my concern in a way that would not be attacking but instead come from a place of love. I knew it was going to be a challenge for me because I usually am someone who speaks their mind. This typically results in mean saying a lot of things that don’t often all connect. This then leads to people taking what I said the wrong way. Luckily for me, I would have this assignment in the back of my head to make sure everything I would say to her was kind, useful, and true.

              I won’t go into detail about what was said in the conversation, but I will tell how thinking before I spoke helped her and me in that situation. For me, it helped me to remain calm. I remember thinking the whole time that I just wanted to tell her to make new friends and to make better choices. However, as much as I wanted to do this, I knew this would make her feel attacked witch would lead to her getting angry. I knew that if she got upset, she would miss the point that I was concerned about her mental health. So, I made sure I was very careful with everything I said, and I made sure I was guiding her towards the right paths to get help. All in all, the conversation went well, and the assignment helped me tremendously.

Leaving the conversation that day, I can honestly say I felt good. This was surprising because I didn’t think I was going to be feeling good after having a serious conversation. However, I know this assignment deserves all the credit for my feel good. This is because leaving; I knew that I had said everything I wanted to say in the nicest, most accurate, and most useful way that I could. I left not feeling guilty about anything I said or having a pit in my stomach, wondering if I should have said anything else. This assignment made me feel confident not only with what I said but also how I carried my thought through the conversation.

             After that experience, I have learned that thinking about what we say and making sure we are positive without words can have huge effects. It not only makes other people feel good because we are kind towards them, but it also made us feel good. There were so many ways that the conversation I had that day could have gone wrong. I could have lost my patients. She could have taken what I said the wrong way. It could have led to problems with our friendship. However, because i was smart about what I said and because I made sure I was kind with the words I used. She was then able here my concerns without feeling attacked. All in all, I am so grateful that this assignment made me think before I spoke because it tuned a scary situation that could have ended badly to a situation with a happy ending.

iExamen 2

This assignment was particualarly easy this time around because everyone is home due to COVID-19. I chose to do this assignment on Saturday because my family was home. I slept in that morning until about noon and decided to go downstairs to grab something to eat. The first "interaction" I had that day was with my two dogs. They were waiting outside my bedroom door, probably concerned that I had not been up earlier like everyone else. The first human interaction I had that day was with my mother who was in the kitchen. We said good morning and talked about our plans for the day. I was fighting a cold so my mother didn't want me to leave my house that day. The thought of being stuck in my house with my family all day alarmed me because sometimes they drive me crazy. My sister was the next person I had interacted with. Her school had sent her home for the semester, so she and I discussed what our plans were for the next few weeks. 

            A little while later, my dad came inside from being outside all morning and told us how beautiful it was outside and how we should spend some time out there that day. We all thought it was a great idea. My mom decided that it would be nice to have a barbecue outside for lunch, so that's what we did. For about 2 hours we all sat outside and enjoyed each other's company. It was the first day that we had all been together since January.

         After lunch I decided to walk my two dogs around my neighborhood. A lot of my neighbors were outside because it was so beautiful. I stopped and talked to them along the walk. It was nice because I haven't talked to some of them in a while, and I was able to meet some new neighbors who had moved in while I was at school. 

         When I got back to my house I decided to call my grandmother to check on her and see how she was doing. My grandmother lives about five minutes away from my house and usually comes over every day to hang out with us for a little bit. She wasn't coming because she is trying to stay healthy and not leave her house. It made me sad that this was going to be the new normal for the coming weeks, but I was thankful to talk with her for a little bit. 

         I really enjoyed doing this iExamen. It was a great way for me to realize that if I want to survive the next few weeks at home, I can't be like a hermit in my room and I need to interact and spend time with my family and try to get outside as much as possible. 

iExamen 2

Cordy Albanese

Dr. Ellis

ENG-101

18 March 2020

iExamen 2 

  As I began my day I noticed the first person I interacted with in person was my mother, she offered to make me breakfast and I was very grateful and surprised to see her this morning because she is usually at work. With the ongoing virus pandemic, I have been self-quarantining as a way to protect myself and others from potential risks. This means that the only people I had a face to face contact with during the day are my parents and older brother. The pandemic has put a lot of things into perspective for me, I have noticed how fragile life is and that not being able to see my friends and extended family can be very hard. After breakfast, I started working on some homework and was texting my best friend Katie. We were talking about plans for the future when we will finally be able to see each other and go out and do things. We talked about how we take things like physical contact for granted and we have never realized it until it was taken away from us. We are grateful for the use of technology and being able to keep in touch during this crazy time. I noticed we just appreciated each other more and sent lots of heart emojis to show we care about one another and that life can be so short. I recognized we were both a lot more heartfelt than usual because of this fragile time. Throughout the day I checked on my extended family over the phone such as my Mom-Mom and Pop-Pop. We talked about future plans and how much we loved each other because we knew it was important to say that during such a scary time. I worry about them a lot as they are more at risk to the virus than I am and appreciated our conversation because they are still here to have one. As much negativity as this virus has caused, one good thing to come of it is the realization that I take the little things for granted such as seeing my mom or sleepovers with my best friend. As I went through my day I started to miss the awkward elevator rides at school with strangers because although the interaction may be small at least there is some sort of human interaction at all. This iExamen has helped me recognize my daily thoughts and how different they were from before the virus. I enjoy being able to take time to see my habits and change the bad ones and this has helped me to do that. Since I have done an iExamen 1 before this I had more understanding of what to expect and was excited to see the change between the two. Communicating via text or phone calls can be hard when the person is so close, but you cannot see them, so I hope to be able to see my friends and family soon and recognize the time spent with them as high importance.

iExamen 2

Megan Cronin 

When this assignment was first introduced, I thought that this was going to be easy. I have always thought that I tell the truth and say and send nice messages. I didn’t think that anyone would notice a difference and I thought that it would be like any other day. I was wrong. It took me probably twice as long to formulate what I was trying to say. I wanted to make sure that every word I said would be taken the way I meant it and that it would not come across as sarcastic. I found myself laughing at times because it felt ridiculous that it was taking me a long time to form a simple sentence. Communicating with my family was a little difficult because my family is very sarcastic, our responses to each other are not always kind or true. There were times where I had to stop and correct myself. Constructing my text messages was even worse. Text messages sometimes can come off in a different way than what you intended. I had to take the time to explain my point of view to make sure that the person understood and so that my message did not come off as passive aggressive. Being away from school means that I am texting more people, because I am communicating with all the friends that live in other places. We would be having a text conversation, but it would take me much longer to respond to their messages than it would take them to respond to mine. One of my friends even asked why it was taking me so long and I had to explain this to them. She found it interesting and commented that I had done a good job so far. From this I have learned that I am not always as kind or as truthful as I had previously thought. This is definitely something that I want to continue to work on because it is important. This assignment made me stop and think before something comes out of my mouth or onto a screen. We were taught as kids to think before you speak, but like many others I needed a refresher.  

Blog Post 4

Jaime Hynes

My recent service experience helping in Ms. Grant’s Kindergarten class helped me to do much reflecting. As I sat at a tiny desk and laminated flashcards decorated with various pictures and words, I observed the children interacting with each other. When you’re as young as they are, about five years old, you are so open and accepting to everything and everyone. Specifically, everyone is your friend when you’re a Kindergartener. You don’t really understand the concept of loneliness or how it feels to not connect with the people around you. You just run around and play, only worried about what you’re going to eat at snack time.

In the book “Frankenstein”, Walton’s second letter addresses his lack of friends and inability to find comfort in his shipmates. He feels that no one on his ship can relate to him or connect to him the way he wishes they could. However, in his next letter, he states he is confident that he will achieve his goal on the voyage and disregards his feeling of loneliness. When comparing this situation to the children in my kindergarten class, I came to the realization that, as we get older, we lose sight of the importance of friendship and intimacy in order to pursue our goals. It’s not until we take a step back from our busy lives and think about the people in our lives and how important they are to us.

 As a human with only five years of experience on this planet, there is clearly much more knowledge and growth to be gained. However, I feel that there is beauty in the children’s innocence and ignorance. As I alluded to earlier, they are oblivious to feelings of loneliness and other mental struggles, since they are too young to fully understand these concepts. Life is so simple at this age; your worries and anxieties are very limited. Sometimes, I feel as though possessing knowledge can be a dangerous skill to have.

The stranger, who soon is revealed to be Victor Frankenstein, that Walton runs into says to him, “You seek for knowledge and wisdom, as I once did; and I ardently hope that the gratification of your wishes may not be a serpent to sting you, as mine has been.” Throughout the first half of the novel, it is evident that Victor and Walton’s search for knowledge can lead to unfortunate consequences, proving that knowledge sometimes can involve risk. Walton’s attempt to explore the North Pole in the pursuit of knowledge will be extremely dangerous, resulting in him being trapped between sheets of ice. This story shows how the desire to go beyond human limits can result in destruction.

Blog Post #4

            As I read Frankenstein by Mary Shelly, I noticed some key themes throughout the first half of the novel. Victor Frankenstein is presented as someone who is consistently seeking knowledge and new discoveries. This makes me think that Victor is someone who is never completely satisfied with the information he currently knows and is always searching for more. He probably feels as though the more knowledge he gains, the more worth and the value he gains. Victor is someone whose constant yearning for more knowledge and more interesting things ends up working poorly for him, as it causes him to create an uncontrollable monster that impacts him and all of those around him. He is a perfect example of how knowledge is good but too much can ironically cause more complicated situations. The grass is not always greener on the other side. I took from this that knowledge is good, but it is not all that it is cracked up to be. 

This reminded me of my time spent at Tunbridge school as an in-class helper. Every week that I have spent volunteering at the school, I have worked independently with children on math problems. It is enjoyable for me to see the progress that the children make every week, every hour. However, it is equally as upsetting for me when I witness their frustrations when they fail. Something which has left me feeling disheartened is a girl who is consistently disappointed in herself because she cannot figure out how to solve the problems, no matter how hard she tries. As a result of her frustration, she has cried multiple times, as if since she cannot learn these math problems, she is worth nothing. Seeing her so upset breaks my heart and makes me wonder how she must be feeling about herself. No matter how much I try to help her and plead to her that it is okay and assure her that it is hard work, she does not actually hear me. In reading this book and thinking of this occurrence, it makes me think of how heavily people weigh knowledge in their lives. Sure, knowledge is a remarkable thing. But there is almost a stigma where if you do not know as much as the person next to you, then you are not worth as much. I remember this feeling, as I felt it during middle school. I would constantly put myself down if I did not think I was being viewed as smart or knowledgable. I later realized that those feelings hold people back far too often from truly enjoying their life. And it is often the anxiety caused by thinking we are not good enough which makes us more likely fail. Victor Frankenstein's experience with knowledge made me reflect on how we need to stop thinking about what we do not have and focus on what we do have. 

Blog #4

    At this point, I have lost count of how many times I have gone to the meditation class. It has become a part of my Tuesday routine. However, last time I went was the Tuesday before my spring break, and during this class, something went wrong. Not in a terrible way but in an embarrassing way. During our first long session of meditation, while sitting down, my left foot fell asleep. I didn’t want to move it around because the point of meditation is staying still, and I remembered during my orientation that if our feet fall asleep, we are supposed to ignore it. So, for what felt like an eternity, I tried my best to ignore the tingly feeling that was happing in my toes. However, when they rang the bell, we all had to get up to start our walking meditation. Well, let’s say since I couldn’t feel my toes, I fell a couple of times trying to stand up. This was humiliating because I felt like everyone was watching me fall as if I was a fish in a tank. I tried to forget that it even happened until we had finished our meditation class. As I was walking out, the instructor told me that my feet most likely feel asleep because I wasn’t meditating in the correct position. This made me even more embarrassed because that means that the people who saw me fall knew that it was because I was not meditating correctly. 

    This bothered me, leading into spring break. However, instead of feeling bad about my poor meditation, I decided to look up videos on YouTube on how to sit during meditation properly. Now I feel ready for my next session tomorrow. I have the chance to show off my fantastic meditation skills to all the people that looked at me when I think.

    Later on, during my Spring break, I was able to connect this traumatizing experience to the story “Frankenstein,” by Mary Shelley. In the story, the character Victor deals with the death of his mother by fascinating over things that are alive and things that are not. This then led to him becoming fascinated with anatomy. This all created a perfect storm for him to bring a person back from the dead creating a “Ugly Monster”. After his creation came to life, he was horrified by what he had created and fallen ill from his creation. Lockley, his friend, was able to bring him back to good health. I know you are probably wondering how this part of the story connects to mine.

    Well, I feel as though my journey to understanding and finding calmness through meditation is like how Victor is fascinating over life and death after the passing of his mother. Then like Victor, I went down the wrong path. For him, it was creating a monster; for me, it was sitting awkwardly. Which then lead to my foot falling asleep. Then there was the moment of shock. In “Frankenstein” this was when Victor was horrified by how ugly the Monster was. In my case, it was my embarrassment of not being able to stand up. Finally came the realization or the “aha moment”. This was when Victor fell ill after he realized what he created. For me, it was realizing that I was sitting in the improper form. 

    It’s crazy how just that one small crazy moment in meditation helped me to relate and better understand the character Victor while I was reading Frankenstein.

Blog 4

This past week has been wonderful, and having mediation before I left for home, was a great way to start out my break. This past session of mediation got me in my right frame of mind so that I would have a relaxing and care free break overall. For example, the main objective in mediation is to become one with your mind and body. Over break, I did a lot of relaxing and really got to catch up on sleep and get some things done that had been looming over my head. I think that these connect perfectly with the overall objective of mediation because after catching up on sleep, my body didn't feel so bogged down. With my afternoons cleared almost everyday I was able to finish all of my chores early and get some of the stuff that was looming over my head for a while. Things like applying for scholarships and finding out what summer course would be best to take and where to take it. After all of this I was truly relaxed and felt really good, I was going on runs and working out consistently as well which is something that I love to do. Over all mediation and a good break allowed me to take a step back from reality and enjoy what was happening right in front of me. I also found myself thinking about the poem about the car accident in Boston. I thought about this only because it connected with me, the fact that someone could be so mad then completely change their emotion to calm and collected. I think that is somewhat the goal of mediation is, to be able to control your emotions. The only difference being that I would control my anger in the car before I get out instead of getting out then yelling. Overall I think that this past week has been fantastic.

How to Deal With Grief

Death has struck my family twice during the month of February, causing my spring break to begin with the funeral of my beloved aunt, preceded by my uncle’s funeral in the midst of February. Their premature deaths ignited multiple anxiety attacks and intrusive thoughts to erupt within me: Who is next? What am I going to do without my mother, my siblings, my grandmother? These uninvited thoughts continuously trampled past the weak guards of my mind; it’s all I could think about. During my anxiety attacks it is extremely difficult to ground myself and snatch the fear out of my thoughts. It was late at night and I was in a hotel with family having a private, muffled attack in the bathroom with a towel over my mouth. I decided to relocate my mind in a state of meditation.

            I breathed in and out allowing 5 seconds for each inhale and exhale until my hyperventilation ceased. I then tried to focus my mind on more pleasant thoughts like how I did very well on my midterm grades and that I still have all my immediate family. Instead of picturing a future of premature death and pain I forced myself to imagine my family members and myself reaching our educational and financial goals. I was able to successfully distract myself from the negative thoughts with the new scenarios that I invited into my mind. I also played my favorite songs to further cleanse my thoughts of grief. Victor Frankenstein was able to shake himself out of grieving and suicidal thoughts by reminding himself of his surviving family members; His father and Elizabeth. 

            Instead of allowing yourself to be surrounded by tragedy and be vulnerable to the negativities of the outside world, be grateful for who and what you still have. Remind yourself that your situation can evolve into a greater future. It is natural to grieve, but it is damaging when it makes you trip into a state of fear and depersonalization. This is similar to the philosophical practice of protecting yourself from external forces by controlling your internal self. The thoughts of course still roam around my mind from time to time, but I do not give them the jurisdiction to control my mood.                                                                                                            

                        

Blog 4

            Having people in your life who can support you in all of your triumphs and endeavors is imperative to succeeding in life. In Frankenstein, the beginning of the story goes through letters written by Walton, the main character of the story. The second letter of the story discusses the idea of loneliness, and Walton expresses how he feels lonely because he has nobody to talk to in his life. Walton claims he does not have someone to share his triumphs and accomplishments with or even his failures in life. Therefore, he is subject to turn to a stranger one day and share with them all of the things he has ever wanted to share. Walton feels alone in his life, and he wishes he was able to have someone in his life who he was close enough with to talk to everyday. Because he doesn’t, he turns to a stranger he sees and hopes they will listen to him talk.

            This desire to share life accomplishments is a normal desire among anyone in our world today. Having a person “in your corner” who is there to support in all accomplishments and endeavors helps boost the moral of the individual and propel them to keep working. This person can also help an individual while struggling as they can be a shoulder to cry on when they need support. I see this desire at my service learning site each time I visit. As I work with the elementary schoolers, I listen to them constantly share their life events with me — whether it be positive accomplishments, or negative details about their struggles or home life. These students desire someone to listen to them because they lack that “person” to talk to everyday in their life. Therefore, they rely on sharing information with strangers who come to volunteer in hopes of receiving that praise or help that they desire. As the teacher I work with continues to say, so many of these students struggle with having a strong role model and person to rely on in their life. Therefore, it is imperative that the volunteers are there for the students to be someone they can come to if they need support. If the students believe they have no one there to help them, they can start to act out in class because they do not understand what to do with their feelings, further emphasizing the need to have people in their lives to support them.

Blog 3

Henry V Event

For my next blog I will be talking about my experience of going to see the play King V by William Shakespeare. This was an inspirational play that I enjoyed taking my time out on a Sunday afternoon to go see. In this play, royalty was challenged after the King of England Henry IV passed away, leaving the throne in the hands of his adolescent son Henry V. There were struggles throughout the play where we learned that King Henry V had a mischievous past that started with the men he chose to hang with. While he took manners into his own hands, he stood up to the challenge and played a huge role in leading his kingdom. While gaining respect from his people was a challenge, his voice spoke out to me along with his people as he led his people to war against France while having support of noblemen. While troubles were presented his past relations, he continued to proceed to war and win as he furthered on as an underdog. His compassion that he brought to leading England to victory not only allowed them to go on and combine the two kingdoms, but also find his one true love that he went on to have a son to live in his footsteps and command France.

This courageous story of King V aligned with some of the virtues that went along with the characters in my presentation Accident Mass. Ave where there was a fluke accident. The author in Accident Mass. was supposedly hit, and yells about it to the aggressor when finally realizing that her car isn’t injured, finds it within herself to ask if the other driver is ok and makes amends with a hug. This shows a sense of compassion for the other person which is nice of her to do. Just as King Henry V decides to cut off bad influences after being handed the responsibility of the throne, he turns his life around and does good for his community. The author of the poem does good for her community by realizing her mistake and making up for it through words and actions just as King Henry V did. All and all, both of these characters relate to each other because they both went through challenges in the beginning of their stories and persevered by making changes in their lives to do the right thing.

By going through these experiences and readings, I have learned more about what it takes to live through the Jesuit lifestyle. This means learning from experiences and doing the right thing to me. Understanding that mistakes happen and there is always room for improvement is a critical part of my understanding of being a Jesuit. Overall, Jesuit education has allowed me to understand how to overcome difficulties of my life to better myself and the community around me.