When saying what true and useful, it generally isn’t the kindest of things. The useful things that people want to hear aren’t kind since it is a critique about them or the fashion in which they operate, but the assessments made are almost always true. When saying something kind about someone you may find yourself saying it for the sole purpose of being kind, not because you wanted to say something true or useful about that person. For instance, if your telling someone with a new BMW sports care that they have a nice car, you are stating something that is kind and true, but is it really useful? The owner of the vehicle is already aware he purchased a nice car, for he probably would not have made that expensive decision, it not useful to tell him that, it is simply a kind gesture. Before beginning this exercise I had doubts on whether or not I would be able to successfully adhere to the guidelines, I am a person who doesn’t like to say much unless I feel it is needed, and that generally means it is a useful bit of information I will interject, but whether or not it is kind remains a different story.
This current pandemic surrounding the world has caused drastic changes to what we all presumed would be our spring semester and it changed my original plans for this assignment. When I am not at school, I generally spend most of my time at the liquor store where I work, and this is where I decided to practice the exercise for this assignment. When I first woke up in the morning my younger brother who I share a bedroom with was playing a video on his phone at a high volume; I normally would have said something along the lines of “Shut the F up your being loud”, but that would not have worked for this exercise. In my dreary and tired state, I could not think of anything to say that would meet the criteria of the kind, useful, and true nature; so, I just got up and began to get ready for my workday. My normal comment would have been useful and true, but it wouldn’t have been the kindest thing to say to someone the first thing in the morning when you wake up. Looking back saying something like “Can you please lower the volume its kind of loud and I’m trying to sleep” would have made sense, but not being a morning person and all, I couldn’t muster together that sentence at the time.
At the store the relationship you have with a customer various, some come in to get their bottle and are out in minutes without little dialogue being exchanged, but some sty around and chat for a bit while they shop. My first interaction with a customer that day besides my standard phrase when they enter the store went as follows. The customer was someone who came buy almost every day, so she was someone who I consider having a good business to customer relationship with so I decided to engage in this exercise with her. When she first came to the counter with her item, I told her “Thank you for all of the business you have given us, and I appreciate you always being nice to me”. This is something I would have never said it if it wasn’t for this assignment, but I felt a slight feeling of goodness inside when saying it because it was something that was truly kind useful and true. This customer has known me for quite a while now and jokingly said: “Who put you up to say that”. She knew that was something that I normally would not have said to her or any customer for that matter on a normal day, but today was different. After I explained the reasoning behind my comments, she was very appreciative of what I had said and we both laughed it off and mutually agreed that doing an exercise like this every once and while would be something that could be of great benefit to all forms of communities. Saying things like this to someone every day would take away from its significance, hearing it out of the blue and catching you off guard puts you in a position to truly appreciate what had been said to you. Every day when a customer walks in I ask “Hi, how are you today” as a formality, me asking this almost every time takes away from its significance, asking every day takes away from the kindness of truly being curious about how someone’s day went, but rather only stands to initiate the business transaction that is to follow. Throughout my shift, I replicated this process with a various number customer who I shared a similar relationship, and each time I said generally the same thing as before and each time the person seemed to me, genuinely happy to hear it since it was something they hear often when going about their day.
Through practicing this exercise, I realized that it is pretty difficult to only say what is kind, useful, and true at all times. I found myself saying fewer things to customers and my family the day I practiced this exercise because in my experience saying things that meet all three criteria are not normally used in day to day conversation, but rather when truly wanting to show appreciation for something or someone. I similarly told my family how much I appreciate them using the criteria and they showed great admiration as well. My brother was skeptical however and asked about the true nature of my comment which I explained, and we again both agreed that saying things like that from time to time is greatly beneficial. Telling someone you appreciate them every day is incredibly redundant and taking away from its real significance, so I’m going to wait a while before I show my appreciation in this form again.
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